27.04.2013

Dear Ashu,

Today I feel like I am writing to a young girl and I should watch what I write. To be honest, I never wrote any of your earlier birthday letters thinking that you would read them one day. It was just something I was feeling and wanted to put them in writing so that I can revisit them whenever I want. So far I have never showed you any of them and may be this year, I would! Not that theres any escaping from you since you would go to any lengths to read! That would be the word of the year - reading! You read every waking moment. You get cranky when we theres a delay to our library trips. You start rereading the books if a new book is not in sight. Although I am so happy and proud of you, sometimes I just want to grab the book and fling it away so that I can see your full face, see you smile, see your eyes and talk to you! Do you realize how frustrating it if for a mom to let go of her baby to a strange new world and not feel included? A series of 50 Boxcar children books? Seriously? How can I ever catch up with you?

School. Where do I even begin? We threw you in the deep end by switching schools and the way we you have progressed in German is amazing! Though I still have my doubts and sometimes I wonder why I rocked the boat, you have never ever made me feel guilty even though I know you miss your friends. You skip to school happily everyday, come home for lunch and then run again. You bring friends home even though I can talk to them only with the help of Google Translate!! Your teachers are very impressed with your progress in German and think of you as a Math Whiz! The only thing your teacher wants from you is to participate in class discussions more and to talk loudly! I did nt know whether to laugh or cry when he said that! I should record you at home one day and show him! Why do you reserve that loud voice of yours only for your family? Why should we suffer alone? So please do the needful.

Friends are coming and going and your circle is ever growing! I dont know why and you refused to give me a reason but you said you did nt want a birthday party this year. And when I kept nagging you, you said, "I dont know why you are forcing me, Amma"! So I gave up. Since the 8 girls from your dance group are quite thick and you girls performed thrice this year and are always doing something together, I suggested I take you all our for a movie as a treat and you suggested that that can be your birthday party. So "The Croods", it was and you girls had a blast! No cake, no balloons, no fancy snacks,...  But your face glowed when you opened the gifts! I dont know what to make of these mixed signals! Stop being me and tell me what you want!

I think this is the first time in your life that you did nt go to India for an entire year! Your entire seventh year outside India! Wow! But of course it meant that your grand parents, uncle and aunt visited us here and we spent a lot of time with them. You love house guests and hate it when they leave. Your only complaint is why we cant move to San Jose and live there with Perimma and Perippa! Or better, why cant you live with them?! Wish I had an answer for that. Well, there is. But then like Hanuman, I have to tear apart my chest and show you that there would be an Ashu shaped hole in my heart. My parents are here as I write this and I'm so thrilled that you will spend your birthday with our grand parents, but it also breaks my heart to see you a teeny weeny bit distant with them than before. Of course, your sister fills that void and sticks to them like glue but nevertheless its tough to realize that you are growing up and that its the age!

You are a very thoughtful girl, Ashu. And I wish you never ever let go of that quality. Whether its something I ask you to do or you think of yourself to do, you always do that little extra special which makes me feel so special. It can be a birthday card you are making for your sisters friend or for your own mother, you put your heart into it. Like the other day, there were some kids home for dinner and I asked you to set the table. And you kept the water glasses on the left except for one place and when I asked you to correct it, you said that thats for Antu since shes left handed! I was humbled by your answer. Hope you never stop amazing me, my little girl! Happy 8th birthday dear and its super special since we are in Venice celebrating your birthday on a Gondola! Happy Memories!

Love,

அம்மா.

Spring is in the air!

I dont know if its because we did nt go to India or the US during the December holidays (like we usually end up doing!) but this winter has been tooooooo long! Hours and hours of skiing, ice skating, driving, drinking gallons of tea, pot luck lunches and dinner parties,.... How can anyone bear all these after a point? Not to mention the heavy jackets and boots one has to wear even to step outside for a minute! And for a Hausfrau like me who has to step out a dozen times a day, its highly frustrating! In and out between freezing cold and warmth makes you have crazy thoughts! Like buying a one way ticket to Hawaii just for yourself!! (Sigh!) 

And right in the middle of February, there is this 2 weeks Ski break! Ashu went for a ski camp the first week and read like a million books, the next week. (The latter deserves a separate post!) The camp was quite intense and poor thing did nt complain. One hour by by bus, 2 hours of skiing, lunch break, another 2 hours of skiing and then back in the bus for an hour! She did this Monday to Friday! Not to mention wearing the ski boots all day long, lunging the skis, helmet, etc... I know I would have quit sometime in the middle of the first day!! (Right after the lunch break! ;) And she was also in a ice skating class every Saturday and there was a final performance last weekend which was beautiful! Antu of course does nt embrace winter like Ashu does since shes more like me! Ice skating class - "NO!" Skiing - "ok! But I will cry the entire time! And you have to carry my skis and hold my hands while I walk with the skis and be handy with a tissue to wipe my runny nose and tears"! End of story! Somewhere a four year old Ashu is judging me!!

Anyway, for the first time in four months the weather seemed warm yesterday and I could nt believe my eyes! Is it really warm or am I hallucinating? Are they really kids I see playing outside? The pond melted and the ducks are out? Is it really the sound of the stream flowing? Are the birds chirping? Oh my God! I cant explain it in words! I could actually HEAR the change in the season! Thats when it hit me! That its the silence which is really unbearable about winter! As if Mother Nature is mad at you and decides not to talk to you for a few months! Ashu and Antu went to the shed where the cycles were hibernating and brought them out! I stood in the balcony and waved at them! Of course, nothing lasts forever and the weather forecast says its going go below zero next week but Spring is almost here and with the little preview we got this week, I cant wait!

Reason No. 3331 why sisters are the best thing in the whole wide world.

In spite of being in India attending THE family wedding and being in the midst of all, she calls you during the wedding reception so that you can hear TM Krishna singing "Jayathi jayathi bharatha matha" knowing how much it means to you! Sigh! 

Thanks, Sis! You are the best! 

ps.

"Jayathi Jayathi" was followed by "Sri Valli Devasenapathe" and "Aananda natam aaduvaar". I hung up in the middle of "Himagiri thanaye..." because I got all teary eyed! Best international call ever made in my life though! :)

Bunking School - Check.

Antu bunked school today. Fake coughed and said she has a very bad cold. Which is partly true. And since the preschool she goes to takes the kids walk in the woods on Fridays, I thought its a good idea for her not to be outdoors for a long time and said ok. Which was a huge surprise for her! But her master stroke was early in the morning when she wished me "happy birthday" and gave me a card she has scribbled on! And its not even my birthday! "But your birthday is in March and today is March, Amma!", was her answer! So I guess she laid the foundation early and decided to milk the situation later! Successfully, I must add! I must be prepared on Monday.

ps.

Yet another attempt to bring the blog back alive. I dont know the reason for this lack of interest. May be the kids are getting older? May be I am getting older? I hope its the former! :)

2013 began with a bang!

I cant believe I have nt written anything since the new year began! And its not like there was nt anything to tell. I could have written about my Sis and Bil visiting us during the christmas break (no it was nt a surprise this time! :), about the ski trip to Klosters which was out of the world, about the Spa trip we all went to which was even more awesome and when the good times ended with a bang when my dear husband fell down while skiing and tore a ligament or two in his right knee, ... I kid you not! Not a boring moment in my life, I tell you! Now Hd is reliving exactly what I went through last year! And its not fun! :( 

Antu's first ever Ski lessons began this year and as expected, she hates them! :)

Ashu had a blast in Klosters and declared that Klosters is the best place to ski in the whole wide world! (The pro skier in our family, my Bil agreed too that it was one of his best skiing experience!)

Hope the new year is treating you all better. This beginning of the year with a bang reminds me of someone. He used to work for my father a long time back and truly believed in the daily prediction on the daily sheet calendar based on one's birth star. If it was printed "selavu" (spending) for his star, he would immediately buy tea for all his colleagues hoping that thats the only spending he has to do and nothing big comes along later in that day! Cant fault the logic, can we? :) If it was supposed to be kashtam (tough) for us this year, I hope we have seen the worst and things start looking up from now!

Christmas Cheer!

Antu: I want to make a card for Santa!

Ashu: Yay! come on, lets do it. Do you want me to write the letter for you?

Antu: Ok. You write. "Dear Santa, Give me a nice gift. Love, Antu".

Ashu: What? That's so rude! At least say "please"!

Antu: I don't want to say please.

Ashu: Then Santa wont give you a gift.

Antu: Ok. Then write "Please give me a nice gift"!

Ashu: *rolls eyes* What about "I hope you give me a nice gift?"

Antu: Ok.

Ashu: And "I hope you like our cookies!"

Antu: Ok.

Ashu: And "I hope you have a nice trip back to north pole."

Antu: Ok.

Ashu: Dont say OK for everything! It is YOUR card!

Antu: I just want to color and put some stickers. Give me the card!

(A few minutes later)

Ashu: Amma! Is it OK if I write "Thank you for the gifts" in my letter even though Santa has nt given the gifts yet?

Me: You can write whatever you want, Ashu! Santa will be happy to see your letter.

Ashu: But Amma, Santa is not even real!

Me: Then why are you writing a letter?

Ashu: Because you are keeping on saying that Santa is going to give the gifts and not you. And I don't know whom to thank!!

Me: !!!

Ashu: Also Amma, I wrote "I hope you like our cookies" to Santa so you or Appa better eat the cookies before Antu gets up in the morning, OK?

This is what one will get when one has a non believer and a believer in the family - a confused kid! Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy Holidays! :)

Schulsilvester.

When I got an email last week about Schulsilvester from Ashus teacher, I did the same thing I have been doing the last 5 months. Which is to translate the document from German to English! Needless to say, Google Translate has become my best friend these days! What I found out was very confusing. Sentences like "making as much noise as possible", "5 am and not earlier to school", ... make absolutely no sense at all when one is living in the Swiss! Panicking I called another mom to find out what this was all about and what do you know! Since today is the last day of school before the holidays, the children celebrate by walking to school from 5 am onwards making as much noise as possible with musical instruments like bells, horns, whistles,etc... Even banging pots and pans. And the older kids explode fire crackers too! Supposedly to drive out the old year! I never thought that I would use noise and the Swiss in the same sentence especially in the wee hours of the day! And since we have never spent the December holidays in Zurich in the last four years, we never even knew the existence of it. 

Ashu was quite thrilled about the whole thing and started rummaging her room to find something which would make the most annoying and loud noise! And at exactly 5 am today, we were woken up by loud bangs and for a moment I wondered if I was in India for Diwali! We managed to go back to sleep and I got up at 6.15 am and rudely woke up Ashu and armed with a wooden rattle, we walked down to meet Ashus friend and her mom. We were the only ones walking our children though! It was crazy to see all the children walking on their own in the pitch dark making loud noises with metal lids! According to tradition, people give nuts and sweets to the passing children, it seems. But from the look of it, I think the entire neighborhood left their homes for an early vacation! Who wants to begin their holidays getting up at 5 am to loud noises anyway!! Except us suckers, I mean! As I write, Ashu must be enjoying the party at school and eating breakfast and will be back home by 9 am! I wish I went back to sleep!

ps.
May be I should make some Venn Pongal prasadam since its Margazhi month after all and make some punyam out of it! ;) Im sure the person who is snoring right now would really like that!

All about our US Trip, School dance, Snow and a Spa Weekend!

When I said there is loads to tell in my previous post, I was nt kidding. 

Oct 5th to Oct 19th - The girls and I were in the US! It was a sudden trip and if you know me well, yes it was a surprise for my sister! I did tell BIL because for one his parents were visiting them and it was only proper to ask him and two, I wanted to make sure they are in town when we landed! Of course my sister had to work from home that day and when BIL walked into the house and we trailed behind him, Sis did nt know what hit her but managed to ask "So your husband finally threw you out?" Yes my dear friends, thats my sister for you! We had a fantastic time just chilling and preparing for Navarathri and Golu and the girls had a ball! My parents had no clue I was going to the US either so as usual Phase 2 of the surprise was done in Skype when they were talking with my sister and casually me and the kids walked in! I live for moments like these, I tell you! :)

Once we were back, I got busy preparing Ashu and seven other girls for the Indian group dance which we do every year for the school fest. Even though we are not part of the old school anymore, the socializing has nt stopped! It was quite tough this year to coordinate and meet and practice but somehow, we pulled it off! The performance was last Saturday and the girls did a great job! They danced to "Des Rangeela". Antu refused to be part of the dance though! Even though she is in ballet class this year and loves dancing, she was nt ready for stage yet! :)

And then it snowed an entire weekend in October! Need I say more?

Add to it, the umpteen coffees and lunches and Diwali dinners, it was crazy two months out here! But the best was when two friends and I went for a spa weekend! Ah, bliss! God knows why we dont do this often but I think I ve added five years to my life just by sitting in the jacuzzi and talking non stop with gal pals. We started talking as soon as we got into the car on Saturday morning, talked the entire way, lunch, spa, room, tea, dinner, room (until 3 am), then spa again the next morning, massages, lunch and the entire drive back! Long live BFFs!

Sleepless over Sleepovers.

I am alive! Last Saturday was such a big milestone for me that I decided to end my long hiatus and blog about it. Though Ashu has been asking for sleepovers with friends for a long time now, I did nothing to encourage the thought. One of my friends daughter (who is also Ashus friend) has come and stayed the night with us a couple of times but thats that. We have never sent Ashu to anyones house. And then last week Ashus BFF G's mom asked me if I can send Ashu to their house for a sleepover. Since Ashu has changed schools this year and is not with G anymore, I have been feeling very guilty to have separated them and I guess in a weak moment, I said yes. Ashu was over the moon, of course! So on the big day, she packed a bag with her pajamas and tooth brush and skipped and hopped and went to their house in their car. Around 8.30 pm when I called, G's mom told me that they are nowhere near sleeping and watching a movie! When I asked to talk to Ashu, she spoke to me as if I have interrupted something important! Even though I was nt worried, I could nt sleep until 3 am that night! It was really strange not to have Ashu in the house. The next day Gs mom took the girls directly to a birthday party and when I saw Ashu, it was 2 pm! Hugged her tight and asked about her big day but only got monosyllable answers! When we came home and she saw the poster I had put on our door, (Welcome back! We missed you!) her face broke into a huge grin and she hugged me and said "I missed you too, Amma! So when can I go for my next sleepover?" Sigh!

ps.

Loads of stuff to tell but absolutely no interest in putting the pen to paper means only one thing - this blog is dying a slow death. I apologize to all the people who are still interested in this blog and came by to check now and then and tried to wake me up. I am here now but dont know for how long! :)

Ashu does it again. And again!

The other day, our conversation turned to the subject of adoption and I was telling Ashu how I had always wanted to adopt a baby but it never happened. And she had many questions about babies without a parent and asked how it happens and why it happens, etc...I explained it to Ashu and was asking Ashu if she wished she had a brother and Antu quickly replied, "I dont want a brother. I want a sister." "A little sister?", I asked her. Yes, she replied! :) "May be I should adopt a baby girl now. What do you think, Ashu?"

No Amma. I dont think you should.

But why?

I dont think its a good idea.

Why not? I just told you how some children need a home! Dont you think those kids deserve a loving family too?

Adoption is great, Amma. Its a good thing to do. But I dont think YOU should do it!

EXCUSE ME? Why would you say that?

You are already stressed with just the two of us, Amma. And you are so strict with us. I dont want you to be strict with an adopted baby!

I dont remember what I replied to her or if I replied at all! My heart sure broke a little though.